Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Requiem for a relationship
Well, gals I suppose you all know what a special day tomorrow is. What? You have no idea? The most celebrated day in the life of your significant other and you have no idea! Fear not, your old pal Al will fill you in. Tomorrow is the first day of college football.
All over the country games will be played to mercifully breathe life back into that mass of protoplasm that went into a catatonic state when the last of the bowl games was played last January. He will now display a knack for regeneration that would make a salamander jealous. He's excited and optimistic. After all, his favorite team is undefeated so far. Life is good. God is in his heaven.
Saturday afternoons will require his full attention as he berates and second guesses coaches who, if they had only done it the way he said, would have been victorious. This is no small responsibility. His bragging rights with his friends are at stake. His whole identity as a person could be shattered.
I know it's hard to be out of touch for a whole day, but take heart. It's just one day out of the weekend. There's always Sunday. Oops. Forgot. NFL and Fantasy leagues.
Try email, he usually checks it during halftime.