1. The "can I eat it until I need glasses" award to The Cheesecake Factory for their dish Pasta Carbonara -- described as spaghettini with smoked bacon, green peas and a garlic-parmesan cream sauce --and loaded with 2,500 calories and 60 grams of saturated fat. It was dubbed "food porn" by the Center for Science in the Public Interest.
2. The "take two buckets of water and call us in the morning" award to Mayor Bloomberg and the NYC council for closing several fire stations during night hours as a budget cut measure.
3. The "one sarsaparilla coming up old timer!" award to the Japanese vending machine company who has marketed a vending machine which, using facial recognition, recommends a canned beverage for you based on your age and gender.
4. The "if it's Tuesday this must be Belgium" award to RyanAir Airlines for landing over 100 passengers in Liege, Belgium who were scheduled to land near Paris, France. They were told that due to the late departure of the flight from Morocco the airport in Beauvais, France had closed for the evening. What is most unusual about this is that the passengers refused to disembark for buses. The flight crew left and the passengers remained in total darkness.
5. The "he ruled/she ruled" award to the citizens of Alameda County in California (where else) who elected the nation's first transgendered judge to the county court.
And in first place for this Edition:
6. The "Al Gore made me do it" award to rocker Neil Young. A warehouse blaze that destroyed $1.1 million worth of Young's music equipment and memorabilia broke out in his custom hybrid 1959 Lincoln Continental a fire official said. Young's pride and joy, which he calls LincVolt and which runs on electric batteries and a biodiesel-powered generator, caught fire in the garage and the flames spread to the warehouse. The problem appears to have occurred in the charging system. Mr. Gore was unavailable for comment.